I have been terrified of the NICU since I was an M3. It was made out to be this scary, intense, constantly swamped place that was too complicated for any medical student to understand. If you got to rotate through the NICU at Rush, all you thought about was surviving. If you didn’t rotate as an M3, you never got to rotate as an M4, which broke my heart tbh, because… I WANTED TO LEARN! Without being a resident, and actually being responsible.
But, I did it! I got through my first month as a NICU intern. I learned so much, and I am so tired. On the day I’m typing this, I’ve been out of the NICU for almost 1.5 weeks, and that’s how long it has taken for my body to let go of the stresses I was holding on to mentally and physically. I don’t know if I have fully fuuuuuully let go of everything, but I’m not going to work towards that goal which feels slightly unrealistic.
What I learned from my NICU month is that I need to save space and energy for myself. I need to do the things that make me feel human during that month, or else the month will just eat me alive. I’m looking forward to the second time around to see how much I’ve grown.
Round 2, I’ll see you soon.